Yes, I am finally diagnosed ADHD and bipolar. Yes, I am medicated for mood swings. No, it was not easy getting these diagnoses. Yes, I lived many painful years without my mental health being validated.
My mind is constantly running a million miles a minute (and so is my speech; sorry not sorry). To-do lists, concern for friends and family, unable to get control of the turmoil that is physically palpitating my heart.
I am full of empathy and emotions. Sometimes it all boils up and I cry. Sometimes I lay on my kitchen floor and cry. Sometimes I see a group of friends I haven’t seen in a while, and guess what…I cry. Why? Because sometimes I feel like if I cry, everyone else will know that it’s okay to cry. Maybe I have a false sense of importance and significance as a leader and role model in my mental health journey. But it’s healing and I want others to heal too.
These tears are out of my control. I’ve shoved them down for too many years and they are finally releasing in a space of safety and community.
No, I’m not ignorant. I know what I bring to the table. I know how difficult it is for friends and family to see me so emotional. I can only imagine how hard it must be for those around me to want to help and not know where to start. And the truth is, I’m not exactly sure where to start either.
Sometimes depressive lows and unpredictable highs can make it hard to get out of your head. Trust and believe it’s as exhausting for us as it is for you. It’s hard to keep up with what’s real and what is intensified thanks to the good ol’ noggin of chemical imbalance.
See, the thing with mania is that everything is elevated. We are constantly seeking the next big thing. Our thoughts are constantly racing (what you’re telling me DOES matter, but forgive me if I try and fix things or change the subject and move on). We’re not trying to be too much. We try to have control over our emotions. But sometimes we just reach a point of vulnerability and the flood gates rush open, or we get angry really fast, or we crash on the couch for a few days because we’re EXHAUSTED. And e want to be seen and understood (I mean, don’t we all).
My ask is kindness. Patience. And honesty. My friends check in with me all the time to ensure I’ve taken my medicine. Unmedicated friends may need a gentle note of concern regarding potentially harmful behaviors. Much like many mental health disorders, no one wants to hear they’re doing something wrong. They want to know they’re not alone.
Need help managing your own mania or feel you may need to help a friend? Tell us in the comments and we’ll share what has worked best for us and our community.