The inability to get off the couch. The forgetting to eat for 24 hours, and then eating for 24 hours straight. Feeling absolutely nothing at all, followed by a one-hour session of bawling until your eyes are bloodshot.
The mess that builds up in your house because even the thought of cleaning makes you physically ill. Followed by frustration that your house is so fucking messy.
Looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing the rat’s nest that is your hair, but feeling too tired to brush or wash it. And don’t get me started on the caked-on makeup on your face from two nights ago because you’re too tired to shower or wash your face.
The blank stare you give your partner when they ask you what you want to do this weekend, knowing damn well you aren’t leaving the house. Ignoring a phone call from your friend because you can barely form a thought, let alone hold a conversation.
And to top it off, you feel EXTREME guilt about all of it.
Sometimes it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes you just need some self-care, therapy, or medication (after trying several to find the right one 💁🏻♀️), and sometimes you spend years with no relief.
Depression can look different for everyone, and everyone’s journey to find help is different.
I am mental. But I know I’m not alone.