By Courtney from @selfcare.extraordinaire
Welcome back to this week’s installment of Handle with Care.
Today, we’re going to talk about something super important—and something I think affects a lot of us here.
The days when you just can’t get out of bed.
Or off the sofa. Or really move in any capacity.
Everything just feels too big. Too daunting. Like too much effort.
We all have them.
Maybe it’s situational stress. Maybe it’s anxiety or depression acting a fool again. Maybe it’s something trauma- or grief-related.
It happens to the best of us. But I want us to be able to rebound when these days happen—because they do happen, and they will happen.
The goal is not to fix yourself.
The goal is to feel 10% better.
That’s it. 10%.
Anything more than that is just a bonus.
So, I came up with a plan for you, for me, for everyone.
If you remember last time, I talked about the importance of being proactive in self-care. And if you take nothing else from today’s post, I want you to take away this:
The best thing you can do for the days that you cannot get out of bed is to PREPARE for the days you cannot get out of bed.
So, let’s talk about ways you can do this.
1. Pack a hygiene-to-go pouch.
A friend recently asked me what my go-to is for days when you’re feeling really down, and my suggestion to friends, family, and people in crisis is usually “take a shower.”
It really does have a way of resetting the day and making things feel marginally better.
But what happens when you can’t force yourself to get clean?
It happens. And we need to be prepared.
So, in your hygiene pouch, I want you to pack things like:
- Baby wipes
- Face wipes
- Disposable toothbrushes (like Colgate Wisps)
- Mini hairbrush
- Travel-sized deodorant
- Hair ties
- Chapstick
- Dry shampoo
- Hand sanitizer
- Tissues
You can basically “get ready” from your bed.
Maybe it’ll motivate you to move from the bed to the sofa.
Maybe it won’t.
And that’s perfectly okay.
But again, remember: the goal is just 10% better.
Next up:
2. Always have grab-and-go snacks and food on hand.
My go-to is that I almost always have frozen Bagel Bites and paper plates in my house.
We do not need dirty dishes adding to our depressive state, and Bagel Bites take literally one minute in the microwave.
Also, even filling your water bottle can feel like a daunting task when you’re down and out. So, keep some other drinks on hand.
My go-to is sparkling water because there is something about the bubbles—even warm—that just works.
Juice boxes also work really well here.
Other ideas:
- Granola bars
- Protein bars
- Individually wrapped beef snacks or beef jerky
- Crackers (Goldfish work, and they are so delicious, IMO)
- Individually packaged dry cereal
- Nuts
- Applesauce pouches
The goal is not to be healthy here.
The goal is to give yourself a tiny bit of something to eat to help you feel 10% more human.
The next one is also a game changer because after you clean yourself up from your bed, it’s time to get out of the crusty clothes you’re wearing—all while never actually leaving your bed.
3. Always have a comfort outfit ready to go.
For me, that looks like clean granny panties, NO bra, sweats, cozy socks, and an oversized old T-shirt.
I DO NOT CARE if this is the rattiest outfit you own.
I just want it to be clean and readily available.
For you, this could be pajamas. Or, if you aren’t a fan of pants, just an oversized bed shirt.
I don’t care if it’s your prom dress from 2007, as long as it is clean and comfortable to YOU.
The point is to remove another decision from the equation.
Have it ready.
Grab it.
Put it on.
Done.
4. Have that friend you can always reach out to.
Come up with a plan with that person.
Maybe it looks like them bringing you your emergency supplies. Maybe it looks like a code word the two of you agree upon.
For example, I might text my friend “banana,” and we both know that means it’s a shitty day.
That does not mean it’s time to go into problem-solving mode.
Also, I am not a huge fan of the “What can I do?” question in the moment.
Instead, have a conversation about what these days look like AHEAD OF TIME and come up with a few ideas for how your support person can support you.
That could look like your person simply acknowledging that you’re having a shit day.
No advice. Not a problem to be solved.
Just acknowledgement that you are being seen and heard.
Maybe that looks like your friend coming over to sit with you in bed while they do all the talking.
Maybe it means your friend just checks in every so often to see how it’s going.
Maybe they call you and cheer for you to get out of bed (social facilitation—more on this another time).
Maybe they drop off some supplies you were running low on.
Whatever it is, come up with a plan with your person.
Because sometimes it’s hard to know how to support someone who is going through this, and we don’t want to inadvertently make it worse.
5. Lean into sensory comfort.
See. Hear. Smell. Touch. Taste.
I am a huge fan of this one, as I use a heated blanket every single day to help regulate myself.
There are countless reasons to lean into your senses, but all in all, it can help you feel more comfortable and grounded and bring you back to the “here and now” rather than obsessing over the fact that you can’t do anything.
Other ideas include:
- A weighted blanket
- Your comfort show
- Music or a podcast in the background (maybe stay away from true crime—just an idea)
- A candle or essential oil diffuser
- Dim lighting (absolutely no overhead lighting, because eww)
- Fidget toys
- A baby blanket
- A stuffed animal
Whatever makes you feel a little more comfortable, grounded, and safe—lean into it.
So, there you have it.
Five ways you can be proactive in taking care of yourself when you’re having an absolute shit day.
Keep in mind, this isn’t going to fix anything.
You might do some—or all—of these things and suddenly feel ready to get out of bed and start your day.
Or you might do all five and still crawl right back under the covers.
And that’s okay, too.
The goal is simple:
Make your shitty day 10% less shitty.
That’s it.
Anything more than that is just a bonus.
If you need some ideas, or don’t have what you need at home, here are some things you can grab so you’re self-care prepared.
CAN’T-GET-OUT-OF-BED ESSENTIALS
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